I Demand Reparations!
As the son of a left-handed man, I demand reparations for the sins visited upon me by the right-handed people’s of the world. When I was born, I was left-handed. My mother and father punished me when I used that cursed hand of doom. My father’s shame and difficulty in obtaining golf clubs and baseball gloves was incalculable, not to mention his difficulty with compound bows.
In high school, he was handicapped by having to write on the spiral wire down the spine of the notebook, which is placed, of course, to be convenient for the “righties.” This surely had an impact on his grades and hurt his chances at securing a brilliant financial future for the family.
I hereby demand reparations and declare my support for the National Association for the Advancement of Left-Handed People (NAALHP). Thanks, Scottish Right, for founding.
See The Scottish Right and Michelle Malkin for more details. Pick up a picket sign (with your left hand) and joing the cause!
Yes, the part about being born left-handed is true. No, I do not demand reparations.
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