The Coffeespy

The mighty ruler of America recently decreed the evil Serbian empire shall be losing a portion of its lands.  From CNN:

Kostunica’s comments came after Bush said: “At some point in time — sooner rather than later — you’ve got to say ‘Enough is enough. Kosovo is independent’ and that’s the position we’ve taken.”

Shortly thereafter, Bush ordered the United States’ most feared weapon into action: The Captroid Ameri-Con!

Experts are now saying that the Albanian experiment of breeding Serbians out of Kosovo was merely the testing grounds for Bush’s plan for the United States itself, citing the walking corpse of immigration reform as proof.

It was only a matter of time before big-name bloggers like Michelle Malkin recognized the mind-melting power of pop culture political commentary!  Malkin gives us a taste of zombified immigration reform:

This is an excellent initial attempt, Ms. Malkin.  Personally, I would have gone with a reanimated Nazi Frankenstein monster trying to knock out the premiere patriot, but not a bad first foray into my milieu:

Internet BS Machine Match:

Political wunderkind Barack Obama has been matched with Captain America…. ’s shield.  The Internet BS Machine was unable to match the senator from Illinois with a complete superhero because superheroes generally have more substance to their personality.  It was able to match him to a hollow piece of metal painted red, white, and blue.

Both Obama and the shield are tools wielded by their respective masters.  Just like Captain America throws his mighty shield, Obama votes straight down the party line as noted at Vote-Smart.org under his record.  You can also check out his interest group ratings.

Also, both Obama and the shield look good from the front, but when you get to what’s behind them you find relatively little.  Obama, for example, has his “Walk for Change” and talks of the “Audacity of Hope.”  What does all that mean?  I dunno, but it sounds darn positive!  The shield is painted in the colors of Old Glory making me feel really patriotic and hopeful, but even a red, white, and blue crowbar will leave a big mark when it whacks you in the face.

Lastly, the shield is an alloy of Wakandan vibranium and adamantium, the hardest substance on earth.  The alloy cannot be duplicated and is, quite literally, the most expensive piece of metal on the planet.  Obama is relying on his mixture of liberalism, social conservatism (due to someone calling him religious once, don’t get the idea he’s against gay marriage, abortion, or any other social conservative cause beginning in anti-), and large marketing staff to make him the most expensive candidate in the world.  If Hillary didn’t have Plastic Man stretching her dollars, he might well succeed.

Outside the Beltway asks:

I wonder which candidates will accept the invites?

…to Univisión’s presidential debate in Spanish.  From the Miami Herald:

Univisión, the most popular Spanish-language television network in the United States, has invited the Democrats and Republicans running for president to South Florida for the nation’s first-ever presidential debates conducted in Spanish.

With special commentary, here’s Captain America:

Josh Marshall of the Talking Points Memo compares the Bush administration’s use of the term “enhanced interrogations” to the Nazi use of the term “sharpened interrogations.”  From Talking Points Memo:

Very uncomfortable. “Enhanced interrogation”, the Bush administration’s preferred newspeak for torture, appears to have been coined by the Nazi Party in 1937.

interrogation”, the Bush administration’s preferred newspeak for torture, appears to have been .There are way too many facile comparisons of whatever group or individual we dislike to Nazis. But when the shoe fits.

I’m a little more concerned that in order for the comparison to be valid, we also have to equate a victimized Jewish population or non-Nazi citizens to Islamo-fascist terrorists captured while trying to murder Americans.  I’m also concerned that the Left seems to think this is ok to do, as long as it helps cast aspersions on U.S. operations.

Commenting on the comparison is the Coffeespy’s Nazi Subject Matter Expert, Steve Rogers: